WINING ETIQUETTE: VIEWS FROM BOTH SIDES OF THE FENCE.

Now fellas, this subject can be a bit touchy but I think its important to discuss these issues so lets get to the grind.

As guys we all, at one point in our lives at least, knew the anxiety of gearing up to go try and get a wine from a girl who caught our fancy.  In my early years, this was often a harrowing experience.  I don’t know what its like in trinidad but there is no boof (Jamaican slang for being rejected..shamefully) like a Jamaican boof.

As guys get older they learn quickly the things that work and the things that don’t in the never ending search for wine.  You either learn or become the guy who only gets hype for the gun tunes and otherwise stands quietly looking all mean and posing with a guiness (nuff man a go hate me for dat comment).  Carnival is unique in that there are only wining songs.  Fast, slow, it doesnt matter. Every single song in carnival can be designated for wine (no guiness roun’ ‘ere).  This makes things MUCH easier.  I’m now happily married and quickly going grey so my advice is mostly from my youthful memories, but I think I still have a thing or 2 to teach the newcomers among us.

Now, I have compiled a few golden rules, both do’s and dont’s, that many already know.  

(This blog entry is for entertainment….Please dont take it too seriously!)

Sort yourself out.  Make sure your hair is combed.  Wear a good shirt.  DEODORANT IS A MUST!  In fact, spend some money for a good cologne.  Looking sharp is always good.

Do a lap of the venue.  This allows you to gain perspective of the battlefi….umm, the party, and to put yourself where the vibes are nicest.  Note: stay away from the angry, guiness toting man section.

Enjoy yourself.  Get into the vibe of the music.  Get a drink and buy the fellas a round.  When you are having a good time it shows.  Your body language changes and you smile more.  These things automatically make you a more attractive prospective wining partner.

Make a little eye contact.  Many men in the fete tend to regress to mans baser instincts as a hunter/gatherer.  They see their hapless looking prey…standing demurely in the shadows.  They quietly, under cover of darkness and crowd approach, and when they are close enough…THEY POUNCE!  Before the girl knows what hit her he already has her securely in his grasp and by the time she can even look around he is already starting to get sweaty and bending sideways, holding his back.   This approach, which we can label the animal approach, most often ends in disaster (I have heard).  Its always best to at least have the dignity to approach from within the young lady’s view so that she can politely move aside to give you pass or discretely give you only a small boof instead of the death by boof the animal approach often incites.

Keep your hands to yourself.  Ok you are getting a wine and life is good.  Don’t ruin things.  Mr. Animal approach has the tendency to hold on tight…then tighter…and tighter.  Soon enough the poor lady is struggling to find a spot to jam her fingers under his hands to try to peel them off.  I have actually seen a girl suffocated in a fete this way…wasn’t pretty..was hours before the guy figured out what had happened and let go.  It’s acceptable to use a gentle hand to guide the young ladies in the wine…especially if it’s off key wine (not every lady is born with riddim).  If she pulls you in close then so it go, but remember this is carnival.  Unless the fete is a total disaster its best not to hitch too long…spread the love.

Dont bother wining down low….they will eventually come back up.  Your knees are important. Don’t ruin them.  The competition is for those who can endure.

Say thanks.  Some of us guys may just give a wink, or a smile.  Other go as far as to buy a drink. Whatever your method, it’s good etiquette to let the young lady know you appreciate her time and you have pencilled her in for another appointment later.

There are many other little tips and points of advice but these will wait for a later date.

Another contributor, JO-GO, will soon give us the ladies point of view on this issue.  Stay tuned.

Click on the logo at the top of the page to see more of what Lehwego is all about!  Carnival, from a man’s point of view!

ManLi