Drunken Winers

July 5, 2011 ManLi

I have never been one to drink but even I, on occasion, have something to drink at parties and on the road, to build a vibe and have more fun.

Even in those situations I take care not to drink to excess, as this leads to acts of pure insanity as well as a hangover the next day. On the road, I take care to stick to a ratio of one alcoholic drink to one Gatorade. This usually ensures proper hydration for optimal performance as well as a slight buzz to keep the vibes high. Hypnotic is my formula for success, sweet without the organic solvent alcohol taste.

I’m spending THOUSANDS of US dollars for this carnival experience. I therefore:

1.Want to remember it

2.Want memories that don’t involve vomit, a fight, or deep unrelenting shame.

I am personally an alcohol wimp…a Smirnoff Ice gets my head spinning, but even in my worst state (so far) I may get a bit talkative but no worse. At fetes I have had women throw themselves at me in mumbling, bumbling, drunken stupors….the alcohol breath, half closed eyelids, off key wine are big turn offs. Plus they are all wobbly and always trying to use you as a crutch. It’s always best to quickly extricate yourself before they barf all over.

Guys are as bad and in most cases worse. They get a little “overconfident” in approaching ladies and can get aggressive with everyone. For example one member of my crew is a blast to hang with till he crosses the magical line of drunkardness. It happens quickly, one second he is normal the next he is taking off all his clothes and walking around randomly VEX! I don’t even see him drinking excessively to stop him. It seems that at a certain point, one more drop of alcohol transforms this Dr. Jekyll into a Mr. drunken Hyde. A man with literally the opposite of his normal friendly personality. He will be lost for hours and then later just turn up with total amnesia and cuts and scratches all over cussing us for being bad friends and the next day he has no idea what happened (Aahh sweet carnival memories:).

Over time he too is coming to see the folly of his ways and Mr. hyde only joined us for 2 fetes this year gone.